"Grand Sham Fight", Kentish Weekly Post or Canterbury Journal, 25 September 1804

"River Fencibles" (local militia voluntarily formed in 1790s by Thames tradesmen during the Napoleonic War) engage in mock battle training exercise on WC.[Link to BNA]

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[NEEDS EDIT.]

GRAND SHAM FIGHT

Friday morning the River Fencibles, under the command of Commodore Lucas, proceeded up the Thames, to the Surry-side of Blackfriar's-Bridge, where the first Surrey regiment of Volunteers, the Christchurch and the St Olave's, forming a body of 500 strong, and commanded by Lieutenant-Colonel Gaitskill, embarked about 12 o'clock, which was effected in very short time, and with the greatest regularity, notwithstanding the roughness of the water, and very strong breeze down the river.

About the same time, the Royal Westminster Volunteers, who mustered near gno rank and file, under Colonel Robinson, embarked at Westminster Bridge, board another squadron of the River Fencibles. boats the approach of the force from Blackfriar's-Bridge, they were -aluleil hv discharge of 21 guns from the River Fencibles carronades; at the same moment, the Lambeth corps under Colonel Edwards, embarked at Lambeth ami were saluted by five guns more, the bands, drums, ami fifes, attached the several volunteer corps, at the same time struck "God save the King", which continued to be played for a length of way up the river and had very fine effect.

When this flotilla approached Battersea Bridge, another salute seven guns was bred whole then proceeded in regular order to Wandsworth, when the Surry and Christ Church Volunteers landed, and were joined by their light companies, who are at present on permanent duly Epsom

These corps then formed together, representing the English army, which oppose the landing of the enemy, and in a short lime had taken possession of the several passes, and stationed sufficient detachment at each, in order to prevent their marching into the country; the light companies were placed in the hedges, to annoy the enemy's landing.

The enemy now began disembark at Wandsworth wind-mill, during the whole of which operation, they were covered heavy firing from the carronades in the sterns of the Kiverrenables' boats. This manoeuvre enabled them to land the whole of their army, composed of the Lambeth and St. Olave's, with the Surry sharp shooters, the whole under the command of Colonel Edwards, without the loss single man; in the mean time, the Westminster proceeded to Putney; they own formed . . .  good order, and obliged the English' army to retreat to Wandsworth Hill, where they again formed and attacked the invaders, who returned their fire very briskly; but, being superior in numbers, again obliged them to retreat from this very advantageous situation.

This retreat was made in good order, notwithstanding constant fire on their right flank, kept up by the Sharp Shooters, who continually harassed them, though very ably opposed the light companies of the Surry and Christchurch, who covered their retreat to Wandsworth Common, when they again rallied, and commenced another attack on the enemy, who had all the time closely pursued them; a very desperate engagement talk place heavy firing wakes up each party, for a great of lime, and a variety attempts were made the one party to ont-rank the other; hut, by the judicious manoeuvres of the English, under Colonel Gaitskill, this plan of the enemy proved abortive.

After a variety of marches, counter-marches, changing front, &c, both parties suddenly retired from the field of battle; the English army took the road to Clapham, while the invaders retired to a distant part the Common. There a new and severe action commenced upon hams, buttocks of beef, &c. &c and the carnage did not cease till the whole were destroyed.

Scarcely was this led, when the outposts once more commenced hostilities, in which the picquet guards, composed the ccmpaim.s, were soon engaged; the English army, themselves situation when they could not act with elteci, again retreated, ami formed in strong position.in Clapham Common, where they awaited the approach of the enemy for some time will, impatience; at last their light companies appeared at distance, closely engaged, and shortly after the main body ol the enemy, great strength the light company the Surrey, under the command Colonel Gaitskill, after expanding the whole of their animunition, retreated good order the rear the battalion.

A general engagement now took place, and a heavy firing was kept up parties; the English army determined stand their ground; after a severe conflict, which lasted a considerable time, and during which, victory for some time seemed doubtful; the invading army last, without waiting the tremendous charge their adversaries, surrendered themselves prisoners war.

This result was made apparent, the meeting and salutations of the two Commanding Officers, and three cheers first. given the English army, in which were followed by the others. Ihe wfcole ot the line then joined and passed Lieutenant-Colonel Gaitskill, Commanding Officer, with open ranks, in ordinary time, this concluded the military spectacle the day. They then marched home, and were dismissed upon their several parades.

From the First embarkation at Blackfriar's Bridge, until the arrival of the expedition near Battersea, it blew a very strong gale, which caused considerable swell, and though very inconvenient to the troops, yet added much to the general interest of the scene. A great number of pleasure boats with beautiful women accompanied them up the river. On their landing, many more persons of fashion, in coaches, chariots, curricles, joined the cavalcade, it would impossible to convey, by words, an adequate idea of the beauty and variety of the scene

No serious accident happened on the occasion; but are extremely sorry to state, that shortly after the Royal Westminster landed near Putney, one of the privates, supposed to be somewhat inebriated, became mutinous, and spoke so disrespectfully of the Colonel, that he was ordered into the custody of a double file of grenadiers. A drum-head court-martial was immediately held on him, and he was adjudged drummed out of the regiment, with every mark of disgrace; which sentence, greatly to the satisfaction of the corps, was immediately carried into execution.

[Source: BNA: Kentish Weekly Post or Canterbury Journal, 25 September 1804, p.3.]

The Times, 9 October 1804

Mayor of Garratt

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CORONATION AT GARRAT

Yesterday, notwithstanding the official declaration from Sir HARRY DIMSDALE, the Mayor of that high and respectable department. of his intention to comply with what he conceived to be the unanimous sense of the Citizens of Garrat, namely, the assumption of the high title of Emperor, and the gracing his brows with the Imperial crown, and his civic shoulders with the purple mantle, the ceremonial, for reasons best known to the worthy Baronet, and to the great disappointment of the citizen rabble, was deferred sine die.

Solemn reasons, no doubt, have on this occasion swayed the councl3s of the mur

Knight. Whether he has thought ut to a,,__ the decision of the Tiers Etat of Wandsworaik, o

that of the Diet of Battersea, or of a verv coz siderable. portion of those his intended sb_ jects, whose diet is, in a very princip u0026 degree, composed of imlins and c u003dnsqas, i

the trade and mianufacture of which the worty Knight is deeply engaged, and who shrewdik cos jectured, that their favourite luxury would be imperialiwed by the coronation to double their usuQ price, is not exactlv certain. The onpv conjec. tures v:hicl the Lditors of 'Lie Wffwrd u0026wortb Ga-ete venture on the subject, are, — ltat the woi)Ih

MAYOR of GARRAT, upon due consideration u0026. the proposed' change of his civic title, for that of ain Imperial dignity, and not wishing, likeater tain Corsican upstart, to represent the vanity 3o hi,

own ambition, as the wish of the people*over whom. he contemplated absolute sway; and desirous. moreover, of some farther experience, from tb example of the said Corsican, whether he mavny

render, in a short time, the title of E ..p Emperor as odious as that of ' R4 Cwosmi, postpone, for tb present, any farther steps on this important subject, until he is better ascertained of the sentiments of those who were to have become ite subjects of his Imperial sway.:

A Courier Extraordinary was dispatched so residence of the Envoy ior Garrat, in St Giles's with this intelligenice, very much to the disappointment of the stage and hackney-coachmen, and the drivers of all manner of vehicles, vi were big with the hopes of reaping a rich haiure from the votaries of curiosity, aud punctual ti. servers of St. londay, as well as to the boiJOas o f Battersea, Clapham, and Wandsworth, and the s2tkers, who had plied at Croydon Fawr, aui bid formed new and extensive speculations in f, g grrl;reod, and o/stsaw.

Private letters from Clapham add, that the known sentiments of the Citizens of Garrat, have been long averse to innovation; thev la-0 bear4, too, enough about the character and exploits of another newly-made Emperor, to decide them against encouraing the manufacture in lieir oal districts. They were, beside, apprelxetvie that such a -measuTe might tend to iuvolie tOeir teruitories in a uwar vith the tcan Kziugs ot ' rcq tfrd, who might tektaez amzige dt the ambition of the Zew-Ma* Alonarch; arid. therefore, had Sir HA tLY proceeded to the business of coronotion, it is prolble he might have experienced atormidable revoiL It is further stated, that the good Citizens of Garrat equally hate Pope and Plerniedr, andJ 112emfor the influence even of hlis Hofifsss, would have be weight in seducing them to implicit submiin under a self-named Emperor.

The ambition of Lady DIMSDALE is, hor-ft, not slightly wounded on the occasion; as thlefJaw of the chaste and illa.strjoas 3osnsritix £ had woaderfully caught her fancy amd excited her eiulation"};

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